I have none!

I painted love with an ugly brush,I had dreams my nightmares wouldn’t let me touch. I listened but heard they had nothing to say, today felt like yesterday?Told my dad I’d see him Monday not knowing he’d die that sunday?My hesitation to engage in conversations,Silent when they needed a word,I Thought i had no reason to be heard.My whole life i spent preparing for death,I’m everything they regret,I sleep but still haven’t slept?I hope my memory makes you smile,This close to you like a ghost but can’t touch reality.They died realizing life was just a fantasy,An despite my upbringing God never abandoned me!I Left hell on the devils chair, I was always in His will even when i failed to be there.I was blinded on purpose, Sacrificed not murdered,Humble because i know i didn’t deserve it.How many ask God to speak then wish they never heard Him?